Weekly Shot #18 – I’m Old
Alex I Targaryen - first of his name
There are many clues that you are getting old. You can screech when you stretch in the morning, you can grunt when you sit down, your back can hurt even though you’ve done nothing to hurt it, you can talk to someone who wasn’t born when September 11th happened, or your hangovers can last for four days. The signs appear like the fall of Rome – slowly at first, then all at once.
My all at once has finally happened.
I’ve known for a long time that I was getting old. The clues above have all happened to me. But I finally made my oldness official about 5 weeks ago. How do I know this exact timing? Well, it coincided with the release of the new House of the Dragon season on HBO.
It’s been a while since I’ve been excited about a new show that is televised on a specific day at a specific time. I don’t love binging shows. I like the serialized aspect of weekly episodes, the cliff hangers, the anticipation for next week’s show, the thoughts between episodes about what might happen and then being completely blindsided by what actually happens. I remember when Game of Thrones came out and every Sunday at 9 PM I felt like I was in communion with all the other Game of Thrones fans out there. By the time 10 PM hit you were in conversation with your friends about everything that transpired. You took to social media to throw your hot take into the void with no regard for spoiling anything. Everybody I knew, or everybody I cared to know, had watched the episode live. I remember people at the time, that I now know to be respectable people, prefacing their tweets or blogs with “SPOILER ALERT” in all caps. I also remember making fun of these people. Who doesn’t watch the episode live? Losers and old people, that’s who.
Welp – here I am – an old loser. Because five weeks ago I opened up my twitter on Monday morning and found my timeline filled with spoilers. It made me sick. Who were these scumbags? Well, they were the same scumbag I was five years ago. The scumbag who laughed at people who didn’t watch the show live. The scumbag who did not care for people in different predicaments than themselves.
Here's my current predicament for Sunday at 9 PM - sleep. And by sleep I really mean pass out from sheer exhaustion. At one point in my life the weekend was something to look forward to. The weekend was a two-day period when anything was possible. Now the weekend means that I am responsible for two children for 48 hours straight with zero breaks. I used to think of work as work, but now I think of work as an 8-hour break from the real work, which is raising children. Monday through Friday from 9-5 is now my weekend and the weekend is now my work. I am living in the upside down. What’s even worse is that my kids now have a social life. Kid birthday parties, kid activities, kid anything, kid everything, and by Sunday at 9 PM I have morphed into a white walker.
The wife and I are currently halfway through episode 5 of House of the Dragon. Yes, you read that right, halfway. It’s Thursday. The episode came out this past Sunday. Even fire breathing dragons, incest, sword fights, savagery, and intrigue could not stop my eyes from closing after a weekend with two kids. And you know how you know you’re really old? You don’t even remember what point in the show you fell asleep and you have to watch the whole thing all over again (or you’ve started using the muted words function on Twitter).
As much as I would like to watch shows live, at some point you must admit defeat. Now is that time. I am no longer embarrassed that I feel like Viserys I Targaryen after a long weekend.
If you are not in the same predicament as me, all I can say is enjoy it while you can. Make that popcorn, drink that bottle of wine, shit - you can even have a watch party! Go big, because it’s not going to last. You too are going to get old.
But for all my old heads out there - the first step to dealing with a problem is recognizing that you have one.
P.S. - My parents are currently living their best life. They go out to dinner every night, watch all sorts of shows, always have plans for this weekend and that. So I guess that is something to look forward to. In about twenty years the wife and I will have some free time. Can’t wait!
P.P.S. - Kids are still worth it…I swear.
P.P.P.S. - Please don’t spoil episode 5 for me…